Monday, June 29, 2009

Getting Lazy

Mom and dad fought over something stupid, like bank loans and investments.  So mom "ran away" and ended up parking with me...

So I slept naked, big deal.  She decided to come into my bedroom at 0500 and turned on the light.  I hastily -- and groggily -- covered myself, and asked "what the hell" as politely as humanly possible.  Turns out she couldn't find her bottle of perfume.  Frog!  She knows I hate perfume.  Why would she bring a bottle of perfume into MY room?

Told her to turn off the light when she was done, wanted to express my displeasure but decided not to.  Ended up being so pissed off though, I couldn't go back to sleep.

Proceeded to get in and out of bed all day, no training, nada.  Mucked around online, then got back to feel sorry for myself, and felt very personally wronged by all the perfumes in the world.  Suddenly remembered how I used to wear mom's highheels and kept a close account of all her bottles of exotic perfumes when I was a kindergartner.   Then one day, I notice a new bottle of perfume on her dressing table, shaped more or less like a hand grande.  I took it, played with it, and conveniently put it away into my toy-chest before mom got home.

I got a beating of my life for it.  The beating was so bad, my school principal and day care headmistress both called to find out what did I do to deserve that kind of beating.

I think, the lesson she tried to teach me, was not to play with her things without permission.  Somehow though, I am stuck with the impression that wearing highheels and perfume leads to a lot of pain and tears.

I still hate high heels and perfume to this day.

Spend all day feeling very grumpy, ready to yell at my mom any moment, but managed to get by with a very deep frown.  When she asked me questions and I answered, I was surprised to find my voice calm.

Anyway, that's how I spend my day.  Fitting though, because part of the issues I need to deal with is psychological -- what do I do to get back on schedule when I am bored, when I am angry, when I am lonely ...

Right now, I feel like loneliness is better than having to deal with my mom, but I also know I inherited her hot temper and so I should be more compassionate.  No matter, now is as good a time to iron out my mental kinks as it's going to get.

Was still hopeful that I could launch Martlet at 5pm, but as the sun sets, the task was getting less and less appealing.  So I dragged my feet until 6, then 7, then I convinced myself that it's too late.  

Decided to make myself run up the stairs of my parent's building for "discipline."  I thought, if I don't paddle 21km, I should have to jog up a flight of stairs.  Ha!  What a joke, it took me 4 minutes.  I think, my body would trade 21k for stairs-climbing any time.

Also did 90sec wall-sitting =_=  Brings back fond memories of karate torments...

My left foot hurts again, not sure what it is; doc says it's flat foot but I don't think so.  
Butt also sore from my previous SK trip -- need to get another piece of sponge to sit on.  I've got skin lesion from the hard seat again.
And my knees are a little stiff.  I regularly sit on my knees and never had any problem before.  Today, I noticed my knees were very stiff and I walked a lil bowl-legged for a few seconds when I get up.

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