Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Crying in the park

I'm a bit embarrassed about this, but I think I'm ready to put it behind me.

Last Sunday, I walked through MacLehouse stage 1 to 5 (up to Jat's Incline) from 8:30am to 2:00am.

In the beginning, I was running right up front with Han.  We revisited Chek King, the bit of the route we took after Dennis and I sank Indian Summer.  I still remember struggling like a catfish out of water on the muddy track back then, and the steep incline up Chek King definitely brings back "fond" memories.  I was pleased though, it's hard to believe it's only 5 months ago that I was panting and struggling up these slopes.  And now I'm running it in the midday heat.

Anyway, the 18 hours hike was definitely demanding.  I also have my own demons to deal with, I've never liked Ma On Shan so I was a bit stressed until I finished that climb.  I did really well though, I went at my own pace but committed to take no rest stop until I finished the climb.  We veered off the road (where the pipe is) at 9:11pm and I finished the climb at 9:58, with no stopping inbetween.  I wasn't even out of breathe, so I was really pleased with myself.

I looked back to check where Paul and Yuki were from time to time, it was getting late and the crowds that we lamented in the day time were gone, so I was feeling rather forlorn and lonely.  I wished I had waited for Paul and Yuki before I started climbing, but then I was also committed to make no stop in the climb, so I pushed on.

Surprisingly, the climb was no trouble, but I got very very cold waiting for Paul and Yuki once I got to the top.  When we descended from the top, somehow I hurt my left ankle -- it was a nasty shock for me.  My ankle has never failed me yet, I really didn't see that coming.  I expected myself to struggle when I climb up, I never thought I would have trouble coming down.  Maybe it was the darkness, my torch is getting ready for retirement (thanks to the sea water no doubt) and I was having trouble judging depth in its weak illuminations.  I must have misjudged the depth of a step, or maybe I was just getting too tired, but somehow, when I jumped down from a particularly big step, my ankle failed to take my weight, I wobbled dangerously for a split of a second that felt like minutes, and then I crumbled down.  I caught myself before I actually fell, so I didn't injure myself too badly, except for my ankle, which was quite sore.  I sat on the big step until I could hear Paul and Yuki again, and gingerly stood up and gradually put weight on my left foot.  there was a bit of a dull pain, but not so bad that I couldn't go on. 

So I kept going, the left ankle stayed mildly sore, and I started descending more gently, despairingly, my ankle did the same thing on another big step down, I wobbled and crumbled on my left side again.  The one good thing about wearing cros and old trainers with no grips is that you get quite used to falling, so again, I caught myself before I hurt anything else, but by that point, I have completely lose faith in my ankle.  I didn't know when it's going to fail me again, but I was sure it would.

Well, it didn't.  The rest of the walk wasn't too bad, but it was still sore when I walked the Tiger's Head/ Mui Wo trail with Carol on Monday...

Anyway, we finished the walk.  I felt I could have gone on a bit longer, but was also feeling a bit worried about the ankle.  Yuki's friends came to pick us up, they were going to drop me off at SK initially, but we got further and further away from Choi Hung as we looked for a restaurant, and finally they decided to drop me off in Mong Kok instead.

Assuming I would get a ride back to SK, I spent my cash on food lavishly, and ended up not having enough cash to take a taxi home.  I didn't really remember that I didn't have the cash until I paid the redtop driver, it was like 3:30 in the morning, it's really too late to call anyone for help.

So after 18 hours of hiking/ running, I sat in the park in SK to wait for the first bus #94.

I got very cold, so I whipped out my space blanket, wrapped myself up in it, and lied down on a wooden bench, savoring the exhaustion that permeated my body.  

Soon, a park security officer came up to me and started asking questions.  The annoying thing is, he kept coming back after 15 minutes or so for more questions.  There I was trying to sleep, and he just tortured me for entertainment.

So this "conversation" went on and off for 3 hours:

"Why are you sleeping here, where do you live?"

"I don't have enough cash to take a cab back to Tai Tan, so I'm waiting for the first bus in the morning."

"Where are you going"

"I told you I'm going to Tai Tan"

"Where is that?"

"In Sai Kung"

"Why don't you just walk then?"

"It's quite far, and I just hiked half of the MacLehose, so I'm quite exhausted"

"Is it in Tseung Kwan O?"

"No, I told you it's in Sai Kung."

"What bus do you take?"

"no. 94"

"Which bus is that?"

"The bus to Wong Shek Pier"

"Where is Wong Shek Pier?  I live on Kowloon side, I only work in Sai Kung, so I have no idea."

"Look, I just finished a long trek and I'm exhausted.  If you don't know enough about Sai Kung, then don't bother me about the details of where I'm going."

"Where did you walk?"

"The MacLehose section 1 to 5."

"Where is that?  I don't know where is the MacLehose.  I live in Kowloon."

"A big loop around Sai Kung and then off to Jat's Incline near Choi Hung."

"I don't know Sai Kung very well."

"Look, I just want to get some rest, if you don't know, just leave me alone, okay?"

"wouldn't your husband say something if you don't go home?"

"I'm not married."

"You are not?  How old are you?  You look like you are in your early 20's.  Are you twenty something?"

"Yes, I'm twenty-something."

"Why aren't you married?  Don't you want to get married?  Isn't it trendy to get married in your 20's these days?"

"What are you talking about?  You can't even finish college in your 20's.  Nobody gets married in their twenties these days."

"How am I to know?  So don't you want to get married?

"it's none of your business, so leave me alone, okay?"

The guard repeated this same question many times, he walked away for a while and then came back to ask me again.  And as he asked, I notice he was staring pointedly up and down my body, and I didn't like the way he grinned at me.  At some point, he repeatedly asked me, "why aren't you married" as he stared pointedly at my breasts.

I told him off, so he told me I shouldn't be lying down on a bench in his park, sleeping in the park isn't allowed.  "fine!"  I snapped, so I sat up, but still have the space blanket wrapped around me.

I still can't believe this, but then he actually reached out and grabbed a corner of my space blanket and started pulling, 

"this silvery thing looks bad on you.  It makes people notice you and they will start asking questions."

"NO!  It's an emergency blanket!  I'm exhausted and cold, I need it to stay warm, leave me alone," I yanked it back.

After a while, he came back and did the same thing, he tried to pull the blanket away and told me "it looks bad on you."

I really started shouting at him then, and at long last, finally, he left me alone.

I hugged my knees, wrapped in the space blanket, adrenaline coursing through my veins, despite the breeze, I no longer felt cold.  I was exhausted, in pain, and feeling very very indignant. 

"how dare he?  HOW dare he?"  I kept asking quietly.

And I started crying.

I hate men, they are such pigs.  I really hate them.


But then I rode the 94 to Tai Tan and Fred fixed everything.  Loshue and Juju were so loud they could have roused the entire village.  Fred woke up (it was like 0745) and brewed espresso for me.  I then had my shower, and he played guitar music softly in the garden while I tried to catch an hour or so of sleep before I head out to paddle with Siu Ming for the one last time.  Fred and the guard... it's hard to believe they belonged to the same species.

I paddled hard and furious with Siu Ming and his group, not trying to show off or anything, but somehow I felt as if I was on steroid.  It's probably the concoction of adrenaline and caffeine.  I paddled back and forth between Ocean Point (Kwun Choi Kok) and Tap Mun (Hau Tze Kok) twice before Siu Ming's group reached Tap Mun Pier.  Since it was Chung Yeung Fest, Tap Mun was very crowded.  They ended up sending me off to check out Ko Lau Wan to see if they have a table.   So I paddled to KLW, and back to Tap Mun to relate the message, and back to KLW, and I still wasn't tired.  Fred must have dosed my coffee :)

After the paddle, I washed the gears and showered in Tai Tan ... was going to log onto his computer to blog, but I fell asleep before I managed to boot up the computer.  Fred called at 1830 to check on me, which woke me up, and I hurried to catch my bus out of SK.

I can't believe I went paddling with Phil at 0630 the next morning (Monday morning,) and then hiked the Tiger's Head/ Mui Wo trail with Carol in the afternoon.

Today (Tuesday), I rest.  I suppose I could have trained,  I feel okay physically, but I'm still emotionally drained.  The a-hole of a guard reminded me of someone I used to know, or I thought I knew, but he turns out to be a pathetic excuse of humanity, the lowest of low.  And I still can't get over how low some men can get.  I'm feeling very old, very exhausted emotionally, and very disappointed at the entire world.

Might as well, I'm going to move to NZ and live with the penguins.

Friday, October 2, 2009

DB to Shek O back to DB

Did another 70k+ route again yesterday. (Oct 1st)

Got up at 0330 to prepare to launch, I had an ominous sense of foreboding about it, like I'm forgetting to do something, and in sea kayaking, being prepared is everything

And Dennis is gone, so if something really bad were to happen, I couldn't call him up for advices and moral supports.  The truth is, sea kayaking isn't about how strong or skillful you are.  It's about putting together the right plans and the right resources.  I still have all my experiences and strength and endurance under my belt, but I'm missing just that one vital ingredient -- a trustworthy support team -- and I ended up feeling handicapped before I even put my foot in the water.

Debated in my head whether I should launch at all, then I checked the weather forecast, and the weather is supposed to be perfect (mild wind, cloudy), so I threw cautions into the wind and launched anyway.

There is a fine balance between listening to your fears and intuitions, and being brave to take new steps in less than ideal circumstances.  I still don't know if I've made the right decision to launch, I was feeling really bad about it, I was almost certain that something bad was bound to happen, but I came back feeling much better, I certainly had a good day. (even though I wasn't the most sociable person.)

And I saw some sort of battleship in East Lamma Channel!  It's so wicked!
And two helicopters flying right over my head as I paddled!  And I got pictures!
And I never noticed the marine signal flags flying on Wong Mau Kok station.  I wonder what they are supposed to mean. (There are like 8 of them hoisted together.)


0434  DB  

*** Got stopped and interrogated by friendly marine police near Sunny Island ^_^  They helped me feel better -- like I'm a little less alone.

0634 Lamma Nav Beacon 132
0820 Wong Mau Kok station

*** jumped out to cool down and also to use the washroom
*** had breakfast near the Stanley Prison

0913 SMBWSC


1010 - launched from SMB with the group
??:?? --> Tai Long Wan / Shek O
1503 - said good bye to my group near Hok Tsui/ Kau Pei Chau

1515 - finally got my MP3 untangled and ready to go ...
1710 - Luk Chau
1730 - Nav Beacon 132
1940 - DB Tai Pak

I enjoyed the group even though I was a little depressed and not feeling too sociable.  Man Sir thinks I'm kicking the foot rest too hard when I propel myself forward.  I got sunburn again, which tired me out and gave me a good night sleep.  Oh, and I managed to get Fred to watch my back on my way back, which is great -- he is an old friend, and he knows the water, and reliable enough (even though he doesn't always pick up the phone.)  All in all, I'm really glad I launched, even though a part of me still think I should have listened to myself and stay put.

Today -- I'm a little tired but happy ^_^.